


last christmas i gave you my heart (this year you still have it)

by keepmecaptive



Series: a very cazzie christmas [1]
Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:07:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21935689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepmecaptive/pseuds/keepmecaptive
Summary: the one where Casey plans a christmas surprise for Izzie (and may or may not realize she's in love with her)
Relationships: Casey Gardner/Izzie, Cazzie - Relationship
Series: a very cazzie christmas [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1579600
Comments: 4
Kudos: 143





	last christmas i gave you my heart (this year you still have it)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing cazzie fanfic, so I hope I did the characters justice. thanks for reading :-)

“Newton, where the hell are we going?”  
Casey had her hands placed gently over Izzie’s eyes, shielding her view and guiding her slowly out of the car.  
“Patience, woman. Geez.”  
Little did Izzie know, she was being led into the Gardner’s backyard, where Casey had set up a little bit of a surprise.  
A few weeks ago, Casey had noticed how Izzie’s face fell a bit as they attempted to do homework on the couch while Elsa made her way around the house blasting Christmas music and decorating for the holidays.  
“Hey, is everything okay?” Casey asked softly, reaching out and drawing light circles on Izzie’s thigh to get her attention. She looked spaced out and distant as she played with her dangly hoop earring. Casey was kind of used to it at this point, but it still made her heart ache a little looking at her girlfriend’s sullen expression.  
After a moment, Izzie’s warm, brown eyes slowly lifted up to meet Casey’s.  
“It’s nothing…it’s just Christmas normally kind of sucks at my house. My mom is usually off somewhere unknown and my grandma tries to make it nice for the kids, but we can’t afford much and-” she chokes up a bit as she bites her lip, holding back tears, “I’m sorry…this is stupid. It’s always something with me, isn’t it?” she asks, pushing out a laugh that’s obviously forced.  
Casey reaches over and laces their fingers together, “ No. Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry you have to deal with that, but maybe you and your siblings could come here for Christmas? We don’t do much but lay around, open presents, and eat. It’s the one day a year that Elsa doesn’t have a stick up her butt and she always makes way too much food,” Casey says as she playfully pokes Izzie’s side with her free hand, finally getting the tiniest of smiles out of her girlfriend. But hey, she’ll take what she can get.  
“I don’t know…” Izzie replies hesitantly, “The kids can be a lot, I mean you haven’t had to be around them yet and I wouldn’t want to ruin your guys’ Christmas.”  
This made Casey sit up a bit so she could properly look at her. She reached down and gently grabbed onto Izzie’s face with both of her hands.  
“You would not be ruining Christmas…you’d be making it a million times better, nerd.”  
This statement finally got a full smile out of Izzie. Score, Casey thought to herself.  
“Okay, if you insist,” Izzie giggled.  
Casey beamed, “I most definitely insist,” as she leaned down to press her lips against Izzie’s, she felt Izzie breathe out slowly from her nose as she relaxed under Casey’s touch. The kiss was soft and short, but Izzie was visibly in a better mood. This is also when an idea popped into Casey’s head; an idea of how to do a little something to change Izzie’s perspective on Christmas.  
So now they’re here, four days before Christmas, standing in Casey’s backyard with her hands covering Izzie’s eyes, and Izzie giggling in anticipation.  
“Okay, are you ready?”  
“Yes, Newton.”  
Casey lifted her hands from Izzie’s eyes and stepped away from her slowly, mumbling a slightly embarrassed “Surprise…”  
Izzie’s mouth fell open and her eyes struggled to focus on one thing. Lights were strung from one tree to another, creating a sky of bright twinkly orbs above them. There was a pillow fort in the grass with an array of fuzzy blankets and pillows inside, along with a tray of hot chocolate and popcorn. There was a white sheet somehow maneuvered to hang from the overhang of the porch, and a projector set up as well. Casey even added a space heater for extra warmth because she had stupidly forgotten how cold it was probably going to be.  
Doing all this made Casey want to barf due to the excessive cheesiness of it all, but she knew that deep down Izzie was a ball of cheese and would probably really like it…or so she hoped. Right now, though, she wasn’t so sure. Izzie had been silent for a few moments as she looked around, eyes wide.  
Casey couldn’t handle the silence anymore so she spoke up, “I know it’s stupid. I just saw how sad you were about Christmas and I guess I just wanted to do something fun and cute, and something that would make you see Christmas in a happier light. But I kind of forgot it was winter when I was planning this out so we could totally just go inside and watch a movie because really this is dumb, and it’s like so cold and coach would really kill me if either one of us got sick and-” Izzie stepped forward quickly and grabbed Casey’s face in her hands before pressing her lips firmly against hers. It took Casey a second to kiss back because just a second ago, she had been so caught up in her own rambling. And now Izzie was kissing her, and her tongue was gliding along her bottom lip begging for entrance, and she had one hand gripping her hip and another tugging at the baby hairs along the nape of her neck. Casey opened her mouth slightly and Izzie’s tongue took the opportunity to explore her mouth, causing a small moan to escape from the back of Casey’s throat. But before Casey could even think to move her hands, currently placed awkwardly at her side, to wrap around Izzie’s waist or cup her cheek, Izzie pulled away. At first, Izzie’s eyes stayed planted on Casey’s lips, but when she finally lifted them up to look at her, Casey swore she felt her knees go weak. God, so cliché, she thought. Izzie’s soft voice pulled her out of her thoughts.  
“Newton?”  
“Yeah?” Casey responded, barely above a whisper.  
“I really love it.”  
“Really?” Casey asked.  
Izzie nodded, before grabbing the collar of Casey’s shirt and pulling her in for another kiss, this one more gentle and soft. She pulled away after half a second, but pressed their foreheads together.  
“I forehead promise,” she said, a small smile making its way onto her face.  
Casey playfully rolled her eyes, “God, you’re so cheesy.”  
Izzie’s mouth fell open as she pulled back slightly, bringing her hand to her chest in fake offense.  
“I’m cheesy?! You’re the one who did all this!” she said, gesturing to the romantic display around them.  
“Yeah, whatever,” Casey responded, not having anything snarky to say because yes, she did do all this…for Izzie. Because she loved her. Casey’s eyes went a little wide. Shit. She thought. Do I love her? A small smile formed on Casey’s face. Yeah…I really fucking do.  
Once they settled in their blanket fort, Izzie tucked into Casey’s side, their hands interlaced, and Home Alone playing on the projector, Casey couldn’t help but not focus on the movie. For the most part, she laughed when Izzie laughed, and snuck small glances at the beautiful girl next to her, but her mind was elsewhere, mainly focused on the confession she had made to herself just a few minutes ago. She thinks about how loving Evan was so easy for her, he was solid and kind, and when he came around, her chest would feel all warm and fuzzy. So when she told him she loved him, the words fell naturally from her lips, easy. But loving Izzie wasn’t necessarily easy. It was intricate and complex. There were layers. First she loved her as a best friend, loved her so much she felt nauseous ever even imagining a world without Izzie by her side. She loved her like a kid loves ice cream on a hot summer’s day. She would get that warm, fuzzy feeling in her chest when Izzie came around, and then it graduated to the feeling of little butterflies swarming in her stomach, until one day it escalated. She doesn’t know the exact moment she fell in love with Izzie, it’s just that one day she loved her like a best friend until one day she didn’t. It’s like one day she got a text from Izzie and she smiled a little wider than normal, or one day she knocked on her door and instead of the usual butterflies swarming in her belly, it felt like they were having an actual fist first inside of her. Or when she picked Izzie up for Paige’s insane dinner party and she went to her door instead, which was weird because she never did that but for some reason the situation felt slightly formal, so she knocked on her door and Izzie answered and her black hair was thick and curly over her shoulders, and she was wearing that tight, orange dress, and god, Izzie has to be the only person on this planet who looks good in orange, and she smelled like vanilla and some type of citrus, which was intoxicating to the point that Casey felt dizzy. And the way her dress fell off her shoulders exposed her neck and collarbones, and it’s in this moment that Casey remembers thinking about how badly she wanted to kiss her. That thought alone lunged Casey back into reality as immediate embarrassment ran through her as if Izzie could somehow hear her thoughts. So, instead of standing there like a lovestruck idiot, Casey bowed playfully, which caused Izzie to erupt in a fit of giggles. Has her laugh always sounded like that? Casey thought fondly. And then, without much thought because when does she ever really think, Casey reached out and grabbed Izzie’s hand, and in a very fake British accent said, “M’lady” before placing a soft kiss on the top of her hand. She looked up immediately to see that Izzie’s giggles had stopped and a bright pink blush had crept all the way up to her ears.  
So Casey quickly straightened up and coughed awkwardly, “Well, we should be going I guess, the robot will have a fit if we’re late.”  
It was now that Izzie spoke for the first time, “The robot?” she questioned.  
“Paige,” Casey answered, “She’s joining us via skype.”  
“Ahh,” Izzie nodded, and without missing a beat, she looped her arm with Casey’s as they walked to her car, and in an even worse British accent, “Well you look quite dapper.” Casey smiled probably way too big, but she was relieved that Izzie didn’t seem fazed by the little show she had just put on. Casey was fazed though…by Izzie’s entire existence, so much so that she spent the entire car ride thinking about what the hell this all means. Does she like Izzie? Like more than a best friend? No, she was just admiring how good she looked, there was nothing wrong with a girl thinking another girl was pretty. Except…she thought she was more than pretty. She was gorgeous and breathtaking and…ethereal. And she wanted to kiss her. It wasn’t normal to think about kissing your best friend unless you had feelings for them. So she did have feelings for her? But what about Evan? What if Izzie didn’t feel the same way? So many questions, and such a short car ride. Once they reached the Gardner’s house, Casey had not come to a consensus, so she did what Casey does best: deny, deny, deny. She pushed those feelings all the way down and secured them with the world’s tightest lid. But anytime they were running together and Izzie’s arm would graze against hers, or when Izzie would nudge her with her knee during chem class to get her attention when she was clearly spacing out, probably thinking about Izzie and how fucking close she was to her, or when Izzie would catch her staring and instead of making fun of her she’d just smile and her dimples would show and Casey’s heart would beat like she just went for a run, or when Izzie would do anything, that lid got a little looser. And when Izzie said those things to Evan at the dinner party, Casey was a little mad at her for that, but mainly because she was forced to choose Evan when she didn’t really want to. And before she knew it, Izzie was apologizing and basically confessing her feelings to her, and Casey was struggling to keep the lid from completely unscrewing, causing the contents of her feelings to explode everywhere. She knew avoiding Izzie was wrong, and it broke her heart to do it, but she didn’t know what else to do. Until she did.  
The night she broke up with Evan was hard. Originally, he had confronted her about how she had been acting weird and distant, which he wasn’t wrong. She denied it at first, but eventually he broke her. She confessed everything to him, and yeah he was heartbroken, but he also understood. It had always been different with Casey and Izzie, and even he saw that.  
So not even 24 hours after breaking up with Evan, and one shitty track practice later, Casey was back at Clayton Prep running endlessly around the track, pushing herself until her vision went blurry and she felt like she was going to pass out. And then Izzie was in front of her, desperate and pleading, laying it all out on the table and calling Casey out on her shitty behavior. And Casey is breathless from her run, and dizzy now not from the run, but from Izzie standing in front of her. But it’s when Izzie gets to a certain part in her speech, “Even if you don’t feel the same, you could at least be there for me as a friend.” But I do feel the same! Casey wants to scream, but her mouth is frozen shut. And then Izzie continues, “Honestly if I knew you were going to be all weird, and this was going to jeopardize our friendship, I never in a million years would have told you how I felt. Because it is becoming incredibly clear that you don’t feel the same way-”  
And it’s in this moment that the lid blows off, causing months of pent up feelings to explode inside of Casey like a volcano that’s been dormant for thousands of years. Without a second thought, she lunges forward and grabs Izzie’s face in her hands before pressing her lips to hers. Casey’s first thought is how goddamn soft Izzie’s lips are. They kiss for what feels like forever, until they finally have to pull away because they both can’t stop smiling.  
“Woah,” Casey says, breathless.  
“Yeah,” Izzie agrees, her response barely above a whisper.  
Casey thinks that if she could take a mental picture, it would be of Izzie right now. She’s looking up at her and there’s something in her eyes Casey can’t quite place, and her cheeks are flushed from the chilly fall air, freckles dancing across her cheekbones, and her lips are bright red and slightly swollen. This is the Izzie that Casey wants to remember.  
…

The music of the end credits is what brings Casey out of her thoughts, and she looks down to find a sleeping Izzie with her head in her lap and popcorn crumbs in her hair. Casey smiles fondly, reaching down to pull the few kernels from her black strands and Izzie stirs, turning on her back and smiling sleepily up at her. Casey twirls a finger around one of her lose strands of hair before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her nose, causing Izzie to giggle softly and wrinkle her nose.  
“What are you thinking about?” Izzie asks, breaking the silence.  
“How do you know I’m thinking about anything?” Casey retorts jokingly.  
Izzie rolls her eyes, “Don’t be a smart ass, you have the face.” And when Casey looks at her with a slightly confused expression, Izzie continues.  
“Your mouth is open a little and your eye brows scrunch together just a tad…so what are you thinking about?”  
Normally Casey wouldn’t be so blunt and honest about her thoughts but maybe it was the fact that her girlfriend had now sat up and was leaning against her, with her head tucked into her shoulder, hot breath hitting the side of Casey’s neck causing goose bumps to appear, or maybe it was the fact she was too eager (but also really nervous for some reason) to share her recent revelation.  
“I love you,” Casey admits, and Izzie sits up a little to look at her, but Casey is too nervous to make eye contact. Izzie hasn’t said anything yet either, so Casey continues, her habit of filling awkward silence with meaningless chatter taking over, “I mean…that’s what I was thinking about…that I love you. And you don’t have to say it back, I just think I’ve been denying myself the pleasure of loving you for too long and I’ve decided I need to be more honest with myself about how I feel so yeah…I love you. God, sorry I should stop saying that but it feels really nice to say it out loud, ya know?” Casey finally turns to face Izzie and she’s grinning ear to ear.  
“I kind of wanted to be the first one to say it but…I love you too.”  
“Does everything have to be a competition with you?” Casey asked.  
This caused Izzie to laugh, “No…not everything. Only the important things,” she says, winking.  
And with that, Casey pulls Izzie towards her, connecting their lips. Something about this kiss feels different, good different. Izzie’s tongue glides across Casey’s bottom lip, and she opens her mouth slightly. Izzie has one hand tangled in the hair at the back of her neck and another toying with the hem of Casey’s sweater before she lets her hand draw circles on the skin of Casey’s stomach. At the feel of Izzie’s cold hand against her skin, Casey sucks in a breath and begins kissing along Izzie’s jaw and down her neck, stopping at the spot she loves behind her ear, and sucking gently, causing a soft moan to escape from Izzie’s lips. They pulled away after a few moments, breathless.  
“Do you wanna go inside?” Casey asked, resting her forehead against Izzie’s. Elsa and Doug happened to be away for the weekend and Sam now lived with Zahid, so they had the house to themselves.  
Izzie bit her lip and nodded eagerly as Casey took her hand and led her through the back of the house and up the stairs to her room. As Casey closed her bedroom door she found herself being pushed gently up against the back of it. Izzie’s lips found her neck and her hands reached down to toy with the hem of her sweater before swiftly pulling it up and off of her, throwing it quickly to the floor. Casey did the same to Izzie’s as they stood there for a moment in each other’s embrace.  
“I love you,” Casey whispered.  
Izzie’s cheeks turned light pink, “I love you too, nerd. Now please just kiss me.”  
And for once, Casey did what she was told.

**Author's Note:**

> there may be a second, more R rated, part coming sooooon


End file.
